Further Information

The book “How Was I Made?” helps families to talk to their children about how they came to this world. Emphasis is on children conceived with the aid of egg or sperm donation. The book is for individuals that conceive by themselves and couples. The book can be adapted to every kind of family there is - including trans parents, parents who adopt and parents who need help to have children - by taking out or skipping a couple of pages.

At its core, this book is closely related to Baby’s First Book, where parents can add family photographs and other information. In “How was I made?” parents can also include information about the process of conceiving and that some people need the help of donors to make a baby.

Why is this book important?

Open and honest discussions are always important but especially when egg or sperm donations are apart of the conceiving process. However, it isn’t always easy to know when or how to start these discussions. The goal of this book is to be a tool for parents to enter that discussion and help guide them through the conversations they need to have with their children. Once the children reach a certain maturity, they can look through their book themselves and ask their parents questions about how they came to be.

By telling children how they were conceived we show our children that we are honest and dependable. No age is the perfect age to have this conversation, but it is recommended that parents be open to their children about the process as soon as possible.

If parents hide the facts of conception from the child, it could find out by accident once it’s a teenager or even an adult. The child could then experience this as betrayal. That, in turn, could have a negative effect on parent/child relationship, leading to mistrust and resentment – and the child could even wonder if other secrets are being kept. Therefore, the book can be used as a tool to build healthy communication habits and prevent family fallout or further problems. Its role is also to empower children, helping them have an active role where they can voice their opinions both inside the home and in the wider context of a democratic society. Everyone has the right to know how they came to this world and to have the opportunity to be informed about their origins.

Examples of text and pages from the book in Icelandic - translation isn't finished

Here is one of the pages specifically for families that get help from egg or sperm donors - you can take them out or skip over them.

Author

The author, Andrea Björt, holds a diploma in sexology and is an occupational therapist working in the field of psychiatric health but is now on maternity leave. She also coaches basketball.

Andrea is married to wife Ingibjörg Rún and they have one son, Blær. Blær was born with the assistance of a sperm donor and during that process, Andrea had the idea of a book to help families facing a similar situation.

Andrea enlisted graphic designer, illustrator, and printer Sveinn Snær to do the layout of the book. Sveinn Snær was the designer for Reykjavík Pride in 2023. Drawings are by illustrator Alda Lilja.

Timeline

February 2024: Crowdfunding and "focus groups" to make the book as user-friendly as possible.
March-April 2024: Translation and proofreading. Graphics, drawings and layout.
May 2024: Printing and distribution.
*The timeline could extend.